Still A Loser

Every Monday I weigh in for my diet, and log it to track how my diet is going. This week I was still a loser.... this of course, being a good thing. So far 20.4 pounds are gone from my body! YAY. Dave picked me up and flung me around yesterday night to help celebrate my loss. This was a very cute thing to do and demonstrate how light I am getting, however, he swung me in the wrong direction and my foot slammed into one of our kitchen table chairs. It got all red and gross and I hoped it was not broken.
It was not, but it still hurts.
We went out to dinner and I manged to not eat too much wonderful italian food.
So, right now I am still a big loser. Hopefully next week will be more of the same.

Moving Update

Dave's last day of work is next Friday, then he leaves to drive back home on May 1. When he's there he's going to be driving back and forth from his parent's house to Maine where he will be looking for jobs and a place for us to live. My last day here is June 3. I really hope I finish everything up by the time I have to leave.
We found this house online a while back that we fell in love with, it was 209,000 then, it's 199,000....and even though we aren't looking for a house right now, and we should get an apartment or condo first that price on that house going down makes me want it even more.
*sigh* It's so fun to dream.

Sea of Boxes

My apartment has become a storage area for wayward boxes. The other day I came home from Poynter only to find that David had stacked the boxes in front of the door, so that, when I opened it I was greeted by a WALL no, a MOUNTAIN of boxes. My last day here is June 3, which, sadly enough, is not all that far away... we really should start packing now if we want to get it done anytime before we are supposed to leave.

The good news? So far, we have yet to buy a single box, Dave and I are stealing them from anyhere we can find them. Also, it's hard to look for a place to live in Maine when you both are still living in Florida. Dave is going up in May to search for us... I don't have any time to do that.

Know of any places I can find good, free boxes?

Update

Well, the diet goes pretty well, so far I've lost 16.8 pounds! YAY! I'll be skinny for my wedding yet! Speaking of weddings, Reagan's is next month... I need to get a manicure and pedicure and possibly get my hair dyed again (although I am kind of liking my natural color)

Oh, and big news, Dave and I are moving to Maine... I got a job at a newspaper up there-- and I am VERY excited! Really no other news right now but mostly I'm getting skinny and moving to Maine like I always wanted.

Yay!

End of life

Terri Schiavo has been all over the news in the past weeks, and I find myself thinking back to when my grandmother died. She had cancer, and had a DNR order. It's what Grandma wanted. It was tough getting that phone call from the hospital early in the morning that summer-- my Mom and I camped out and sleeping in my Grandmother's huge antique bed. My Dad had just left to go back to Massachusetts to work since he couldn't take more time off. He wound up driving right back to Maine again. I remember wondering why she wanted a DNR, but then remembered how she'd looked near the end.
Grandma was a woman with much class and dignity. She was not accustomed to having a bed pan under her, or having to have people bathe her. She couldn't have lived that way for long-- it would have driven her mad. She didn't even like the chaplain coming in to pray over her-- she wasn't the type of person who wanted prayers-- she was the type of person who was of action. She gave a lot of money to the needy, and a lot of time teaching those who needed to be taught, and she never asked for anything in return. When I think of this poor family fighting over Terri's life it makes me hurt for them-- for her. Grandma wanted and DNR and even if we didn't agree with it at least we knew her wishes. With Terri we'll never really know.

Progress

Since last time I wrote I have lost a total of 10.4 lbs. I am making progress. I am feeling better about myself and I'm not hungry at all. Dave is being a great help-- he makes it easier for me by telling me I'm doing a good job. I'm going to be thinner for Reagan's wedding, and when our wedding finally rolls around I will be even thinner too! I think this is the first time in my life I have ever seen the numbers on the scale going down rather than up.
Things are going pretty well right now-- had a promising job interview the other night and it sounds like a great fit. I hope I get the job. It would be so nice to move back up north and to a beautiful area that Dave and I both love.
Ok, time to get ready for work... come back tomorrow to read about our adventure shopping for wedding bands.

Tough Business

Losing weight is tough. I know it's not a cake-walk, no pun intended, but man, this is hard. So far I've lost 7.8 lbs-- that's great. But what's tough is continuing to lose-- I have a long way to go until I get down to where I should be to be as healthy as I would like. Finding time for exercise is my biggest problem.

When I was in college on the crew team I had so much more going on in my life and I still managed to work out 2 hours a day. Now, without the gym next to my dorm and with no boathouse to run down the river 2 miles away to it's hard.

I live in an area of town that is not the safest to run in, and running around the apartment complex just doesn't do it for me. I have tapes and I do those but they're not as fun as rowing. I love rowing. I miss it. I feel so at piece lapping my oars into the water, moving as one body in a boat filled with 8 other people.

I want to see how the sun and moon look over the Charles again. Wherever I move to next I have to try and join a rowing club-- there isn't one around here I can join.... let alone afford to join.

Regardless, I should be happy about the weight I have already lost.... I just wish I had my teammates behind me in the boat helping me along.

Diet

For the first time in my life I'm going on a diet-- an actual healthy diet. So far it's working and I'm feeling better (in general and about myself).

What prompted this was that I'm in a wedding in May ( a friend's not mine), I'm going to a another wedding in October (a friend I've known since I was eight years old) and I'm getting married a year from now.

Dave is being very supportive -- he told me that he loves me the way I am. He also told me that he wants me to be happy with myself.

slowly, day by day, I'm getting there.

Thank You

Have I said thank you to you lately? If not, thank you. Thank you for asking if I'm ok after having been in a car accident. Thank you for the dozen roses on Valentine's Day. Thank you for making dinner when I don't feel like it.

For listening to me when I don't even want to listen to myself. For caring about what I do; what I write.

Thank you for posting comments on my blog. Thank you for working hard to help me reach my goals-- for giving me books about how to become a better writer, for filing early. Thank you for a million things.

It's such a small phrase but I heard it today and it made me feel better. So thank you.

Car accident

It's scary being in a car accident for the first time. And today, it was my first time. Pulling out of a mall parking lot I got hit from the side. It happened so fast. I didn't see the car until after she hit me.

I called David after the cops had come and I had exchanged my information with the woman also involved. He came and I broke down. He didn't.

I'm so glad I have him to keep me from pulling my hair out -- Imagine if I had had to drive myself home.

I am truly lucky to have the people in my life who are willing to help me through things like this.

Formalities

Next weekend David and I are having our engagement pictures taken. It makes me wonder how our culture comes to accept things as tradition. Who first decided to have formal pictures taken to announce their marriage? Who knew it would turn into a multi-billion dollar business. We're pretty excited about it since we've never had our pictures taken by a professional together.

We get excited about little things like that. Of course, the photo shoot is on an odd day-- superbowl sunday. Thank goodness we're having them taken early in the day so as not to disrupt my football watching!

Ever had a really bad photo experience?

Writing

Anis Nin said writing was like breathing. For me, it's the same. I cannot go a day without writing, just as people cannot go without breathing.

When I was young, I would write for myself. Poems, songs I didn't have music for, stories, letters, journal entries. Every day I still write-- it's what I do for a living. But somedays, it feels like I am not writing for myself. Rather, I am writing for my audience -- writing what I think something should sound like.

I have to stop writing for other people. Journalism is about telling stories, real people's stories. But in that, I have to remember that first and foremost I am writing it for myself. If it's not interesting to me I shouldn't be writing it.

My need to not sound stupid or immature or pompous or redundant gets in the way of the kid who used to just write in her journal knowing if someone read it she wouldn't mind, because at least she liked it.

I have to shut the critic off and let the words come out of me like the air I breathe.

So what if this is corny? So what if someone laughs while reading it. At least I like it, and it's what came out.

The Best Gifts in Life Are People Who Love You

A while back I told you about some rotten person who stole David's NAVY bootcamp sweatshirt right out of the washing machine, never to be seen again.

Well, today David got a package from one of his friends (whom I have met) and I called David at work to tell him that he had a package waiting for him. He called me back and told me to open it for him.

After peeling back about 8 layers of clear packing tape, I opened up the box to find a brand new very large NAVY bootcamp sweatshirt.

My eyes teared up, and it made me think of when I got the first version of that sweatshirt years ago. Feels like home being in it. David said he called his friend the night the sweatshirt was stolen so I could have a new one. It's not the fact I got a new sweatshirt that makes me happy, it's the fact that Dave would think to call his friend to have him go get me a new one that means so much.

New Year

I am starting to feel the pressure of finding where I will go next after Poynter. Where will my next job be? I am still enjoying Poynter and have a lot left to learn, but I am the type of person who dislikes not knowing what is next.

Dave has a few possibilities up north, and luckily there are many papers I could work at... I am just hoping I'll find something at around the same time he decides what he is going to do. I would like us to find a nice place to live, and look for that place together.

New Year, new possiblities.